"IF ONLY"

Please stay patient, i know its longer than usual.

A grim voice said "You'll leave this world at 9 PM today" and then a thud, his back hurt like someone threw him on the bed. The impact woke him up. Phew it was only a dream felt Ian. But his back hurt and the voice he felt had got as close his ear. So what was it, a dream or reality? He took some time to recuperate from the shock. He could do everything but recollect what happened in his alleged dream. All he could recollect was the voice and intensity of the content which said he would die today.

He picked his coffee from his left hand and whoosh a thought just struck him like lightening, he would never pick his coffee with the left. Then he began to think he had done this just once before, and that was in the dream when he picked it in the left and spilt it on the newspaper and soiling the word TIMES in TIMES OF INDIA. So he looked at the newspaper and felt great that it was just a dream. But before he could realize his left arm was not even half as strong as his left he had spilt the coffee on the newspaper covering the TIMES part of "TIMES OF INDIA”. Now this got him thinking, "why am I not able to recollect all what I saw in the dream?" cuz that would help him clear the dilemma whether it was fact or fiction.
He began to realize that every event he saw in his so called cusp between dream and reality was happening alright, but in a different sequence. He saw his spectacle break, his handkerchief burn, slippers tear all in his dream. The incidents that were happening to him were already experienced and he was reliving them. He got the whole sequence till his cab crashed onto a median at 9 PM as told by the voice and he died. So the words he heard before he got up was true and it was a unique opportunity for him to know when he was gonna die. He just couldn’t believe what was happening to him. He was getting to know how and when he would die. He had another 4 hours to live before he was gonna die. It took him an hour more to come to terms with the terrible tragedy that was to befall on him. All through the hour like everyone else he abused the almighty for having him in this fix, cursed his luck and all unproductive things he could ill-afford. He always wanted to know the future, but when it presented itself before him he just couldn’t digest it. He then realized how lucky he was that he had got the time to face death with a smile . Set all things right before he could before he sinks into the earth. He had around 3 hours with him to do all the stuff he wanted to.He wanted to live on this earth like a dew drop that in its evanescent life stands up tall against the mighty SUN.

He picked his phone book and the 1st call was to his ex-wife. They had parted ways some years back cuz our man just couldn’t stay with one woman all his life. But ever since they decided to part ways, he wanted her back and just one factor that stood between the 2 of them was his ego. He just couldn’t dispense his ego or a sorry till the matters were irreparable. He thought to himself , If there is no soul, on what will the ego leverage on? A dead man can’t have an ego .He called her up and said “ I wanted to stay with you since the time I left you , but never had the strength in me to accept my mistake. “ The woman knew there was something wrong cuz in all the days she had him in her life, this was the last thing he would do , being sorry for what he did. He always had his way to justify his misconduct. Called his brother and told him he didn’t attend to him when he needed most, in the pursuit of power and position. He told him he didn’t have it in him to die without having this conveyed to him.

He felt a lot better and like lost a few pounds (a lighter hearts weighs less too). These were the relations he always knew he messed up! An hour left, he visited the music school next door to join the guitar he always wanted to learn . He smiled at himself that he didn’t wanna die thinking he never gave a shot at the instrument he wanted to learn like forever. The instructor asked him to be there after work at around the same time tomorrow. Immediately when the instructor said that , there was a cynical grin of Ian’s face. He went to his favorite restaurant for dinner. He knew it was pretty early dinner at 2030 hrs but he said to himself he didn’t wanna die hungry , he knew he was the best at find-the-irony-in-life one-liners. A shot of his favorite tequila to get him feel the impact of death lesser.

When he finished food, he just had a peek at the day he had lived since he realized it was his ultimate day, in more ways than one. He felt ecstatic and thought IF-ONLY he had lived the life this way , everyday. Just then he saw an old lady cross the street pretty dangerously, he lent her help to reach the other bank . He realized he could have died helping her, but the confidence in his face indicated that this is not the way his life was to end, so no harm helping her. These things gave him a good ego-boost. He also felt happy smiling at death, cuz to him that was one of the best opportunities he had to die brave. This day has been the best to him in a lot of ways- Spoke to his dear ones, helped the needy, enrolled to sth he wanted to since childhood . He felt a fresh soul.

Now he didn’t have any qualms accepting the eventuality. He hired a taxi. The driver looked back and he was exactly the same guy he saw in his semi-reality(he finally coined a term for his experience) There was this grin on his face and knew what was to follow. He even felt bad the driver was to die in athis scheme of things. Though he wanted to tell him , he knew it was a lot more of a shock than the driver could handle. He just closed his eyes and smiled wide when the exact place of accident arrived and felt a force pull him away from earth and the smile grew wider.

A voice said “Your place has arrived ,Sir . Looks like you are very happy , the wide grin says it all.” Ian was shocked to be alive. They had well passed that place. He paid the driver with disbelief. He reached his place to find his brother there. He had dropped by to find if everything was ok. He was ecstatic to have seen his old brother back. After things kind of got settled down, he was just going through some mags when he found someone write on how stress saps up ones energy and leaves him groping in the dark between whats true and whats not. Well this was when he began to realize that all what happened today was the peripheral effects of stress. He felt like one big fool. But soon recollected how good the whole day had been cuz he lived it like his last day on earth.He seemed to have got his loved ones back and enjoyed every second he lived today.

May be this one day had taught him more about life than the entire life he lived.